Circular No 835

Newsletter for alumni of The Abbey School, Mt. St. Benedict, Trinidad and Tobago, W.I.

Caracas, 4 of November 2017 No. 835

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Dear Friends,

Here I am including an old article that David Bratt sent me years ago.  I am sure that he will send me appropriate ones for the circular soon.

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dbratt@trinidad.net

Mummy + money = madness

In our increasingly psychotic society, the worth of a person is measured more and more by his or her assets. So everyone now works outside of the home.

The woman who works at home doesn’t get a pay check or a pension plan. We may say otherwise but the truth is that she is not looked upon as being of much value to society, despite the fact that the effects of her mothering on her child’s development makes an enormous contribution to that same society that rejects her. Rejects her for not having a life of her own, i.e. for staying home and taking care of her children.

Unfortunately, children from homes where the mother works outside the house, develop more behavioural problems than do children whose moms work at home.  Behavioural problems that seem to make the child at risk for developing criminal behaviour.

In psychological terms, the primary need of an infant is to trust his environment.

This is completely dependent on a secure attachment to either his mother or father, as the main caregiver in his life. A baby who trusts his mother does not have to parent himself or to spend emotional energy looking for a parent. He can devote his time to developing his skills to enable him to become a reasonably effective human being.

A baby is at huge risk for not reaching his full potential developmentally if he is insecure in the arms of his mother or father.

Separation from the mother and, to a lesser degree, the father creates a tremendous sense of loss in the child until about the age of two to three years.  Most people know this.  Think back to how you felt when your mother left you at school for the first time.  I was four years old and I promptly got up and ran home crying. Luckily I lived just down the road.  How much worse it is for a six-month-old who has just attached firmly to the person he has shared an intimate physical and emotional bond for at least nine months.  Talk about tabanca!

Under the age of two or three years, children are unable to understand the temporary nature of separation.  For them there is no tomorrow.  They live in the present. Every second of separation from the loved one is agony.  This can create insecurity, hurt, anger and ultimately detachment. Insecure, hurt, angry and detached children can easily grow up to be dangerous men and women, because they have never learned to trust anyone.

How ironical that in this day and age when we are afraid to leave our home because we can no longer trust our fellow citizens, we cannot understand that lack of trust begins in childhood.

A working mother hires another woman to take care of her children, either at home or in a nursery.  When she comes home to find the woman holding her baby, she feels reassured. What would she say if she came home to find the woman holding her husband?

This is not as unusual or infrequent as it sounds. Both relationships, mother-child and wife-husband, have many things in common: attachment, trust, physical intimacy, love.  Both also suffer most from outside involvement.

You cannot pay someone to love your children. Mothers cannot be replaced by employees.  Forget “quality time”.  If “quality time” really counted, a husband could spend all day out with the boys and a measly half hour with his wife and she would be satisfied.  And viceversa.

Mothering or fathering cannot be scheduled. Children have unexpected periods of stress and they need their parents then and there.

In our society where most children are mainly brought up by mothers, some special and dedicated women find ways to continue working outside their home and continue to be very involved in their children’s lives, either by taking the child with them or by visiting them, wherever they are, as often as possible.  These women should be honoured in society.

Just like women who decide to stay at home for the first two years of their child’s life.

But women who work outside their home and take good care of their children are truly special.  Not everyone can do this.  Initially children, and later society, suffer the consequences of maternal deprivation.

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From: "Daniel de Verteuil" <deverted@renc.igs.net>

Date: 4 Nov 10:51 (PST)

Ladislao,

I keep silent but read the circular every week. 

During the summer my wife, my dog and I toured Northwestern Canada and Alaska.  Attached is the summary of that trip which you may or may not find suitable as an attachment to the msb circular - your decision and I won't be at all upset if you choose not to attach it.  Anyway, it will give you a sense of what I am up to.

I enjoy the circulars and much appreciates your effort in producing them.

Keep up the good work.

Regards,

Daniel de Verteuil

(Sorry I lost the attachment, but do write again about your adventures, ed.)

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From: Richard Anderson <tropicgreen@hotmail.com>

Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 7:27PM

Dear Ladislao,

Thank you for your E-mail

I left Mount in Form 4, I believe 1962.

In my class Jeffrey Camacho, great friend. Michael Marchock, Mervin Assam, Peter and Norman Tang, Gregory Farfan, Nigel Boos, Michael, Robert & Jimmy Azar, Terrence Ferreira from Guyana.

Desmond Devaux, Don Mitchell, Patrick Devaux, too many to mention.

Steve Anderson is my brother and lives in Trinidad.

Gerald Anderson lost touch but do believe is in Trinidad.

Peter Laughlin in Sarasota Fl.

Michael Laughlin is Perth Australia.

I was in Scouts.  Fr. Cuthbert was the Scout master, I was in Toucans with Jeffrey Gransaull Troop Leader,

Also Played Drums for the Scout band, Left as a Queen’s Scout.

Played in the band called Ventures. Started at Mount with Johnny Abraham and we continued after school.

Played at many fetes as well as Nightclubs, The Rock and Matador - for those who remember their earlier years partying.

After leaving Mount I was President of the Old Boys Association, I believe it was 1964 or 65 not too sure of the year.

Ladislao, I hope this helps with some information.

To all my friend please E-mail me let me hear from you.

Regards, Richard.

(I would like to hear from you.  Jeffrey Gransaul, is it true that you are a pilot?  ed.)

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From: "Ladislao Kertesz" <ladislaokertesz@hotmail.com>

To: tropicgreen@hotmail.com

Date: Sat, 10 Jan 2004 13:46:08 +0000

Dear Richard

Thank you for the resume.  I shall send it out soon in a Circular.

Please write me your Form V graduation date and telephone number, for the general list.

There were at least two other Anderson in my list, Gerard and Steven? Were they from your clan?

Do you remember your classmates, friends?  What has happened to them?  Are you in correspondence with other MSB oldboys?

Any photos?  Were you a scout?

I know this is a lot, but the Circular must circulate, and bring fond memories to some.

I would like to send you a photo of your era,

God Bless

Ladislao

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11-09-2017 22:01:11: Mt Ramsahai Winston 99: Happy Birthday to my dear brother Toddy enjoyed the El Dorado Neal Charles how are you

11-09-2017 22:04:07: Mm Charles Neil: I hope Toddy is selling his doubles machines. Is Winston retired or still trying to be Rothschild?

I am doing well thanks, still trying to spend my kid’s inheritance

11-09-2017 22:05:48: Mt Ramsahai Winston 99: I will knock on your door very soon ...my calaloo soup almost there You doing that 5 ,yrs

11-09-2017 22:06:41: Mm Charles Neil: U got that right

11-09-2017 22:06:54: Mt Ramsahai Winston 99: Did u experience heavy rains in Orlando

11-09-2017 22:07:28: Mm Charles Neil: No, heavy winds But we had no problems in our neighbourhood

11-09-2017 22:07:59: Mt Ramsahai Winston 99: God heard your prayer

11-09-2017 22:08:36: Mm Charles Neil: He heard my wife's prayers I am a hedon I pray for More wine I wish the rain would turn into wine

11-09-2017 22:10:55: Mt Ramsahai Winston 99: Then you will find your calling Then I will retire Nice to reconnect buddy we expected some more guys at MSB Fr Cutty received a Dutch style funeral lots of rain

11-09-2017 22:19:37: Mm Charles Neil: I said that So many old boys in Trinidad  and such a small turn out Including Big head Colm, if I happen to see that asshole in Trinidad, I hope he has his buddy guards around Winston, u can afford to jump on a plane anytime and come visit me. so don't start no shit now

11-09-2017 22:27:56: Mt Ramsahai Winston 99: Acting PM at least it's first fur Abbey School

11-09-2017 22:28:53: Mm Charles Neil: It's a disgrace u mean

11-09-2017 22:29:10: Mt Ramsahai Winston 99: It's long overdue just have an El Dorado

11-09-2017 22:30:53: Mm Charles Neil: Let's tell everyone he went to CIC, that's where he took his A levels

11-09-2017 22:31:53: Mt Ramsahai Winston 99: If you were acting PM maybe the same

11-09-2017 22:32:37: Mm Charles Neil: So book your damn ticket and get your ass in Orlando

11-09-2017 22:33:40: Mt Ramsahai Winston 99: Yes Sir Call me anytime 774-4999

11-09-2017 22:34:19: Mm Charles Neil: If I was Pm or acting, I will call your ass at 3am

11-09-2017 22:35:12: Mt Ramsahai Winston 99: That my Bandit hour Don't call 3-7 that's my siesta

11-09-2017 22:36:16: Mm Charles Neil: To give u a contract to kill all the niggars that causing trouble I call me anytime I am as free as a bird I have my Home number Winston, stopped your shit and retire See the world and enjoy the short time we have left If u don't want to see the world. Then come see me and some of the old boys

11-09-2017 22:58:26: Mt Ramsahai Winston 99: See you soon my scout word

11-09-2017 23:10:21: Mm Charles Neil: U know I hold u that. Going to take a shower and get my ass to bed. I give u one month

11-09-2017 23:12:13: Ladislao: If he does not go can I replace him, haha. I might work up a reunion

11-09-2017 23:15:54: Mm Charles Neil: I was out in the porch sipping on some Hennessey Le Parradis, I will save u some. its $1000 a bottle 

My kids don't drink so have enjoy it Anyone that gets into politics Will become corrupt. Money talks...bullshiit ...walks. just be a Business man make an honest dollar, I am not rich.. but I enjoy life. I don't have to worry about someone trying to kidnap or kill me.

12-09-2017 00:02:02: Mt Ramsahai toddy: Sushi with my big brother

12-09-2017 15:04:01: M Kenny Azizul: Hey Winston u and ur brother looks like twins

12-09-2017 15:57:34: Mt Ramsahai toddy: Na Just had cascadura and free range chicken  - common fowl to keep looking young

12-09-2017 16:01:17: M Kenny Azizul: Looks very tasty is that ah half ah pepper

12-09-2017 16:01:37: Mt Ramsahai Winston 99: You real country food You missed out last visit Aziz

12-09-2017 16:03:26: M Kenny Azizul: Yea while I was there I had an issue and had to cut short by a day

12-09-2017 16:04:21: Mt Berment Joseph: How about the strict diet, Winston?

12-09-2017 16:04:27: M Kenny Azizul: I am coming the end of the month I will do everything to meet with u and whoever is around Oh and Mr Joe Hey Joe

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EDITED by Ladislao Kertesz,  kertesz11@yahoo.com,  if you would like to be in the circular’s mailing list or any old boy that you would like to include.

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Photos:

08UN1596REUNION2008, UNKNOWNS

09LK2832FBGMC,  Garth McAlpin

74JG0001JGOLONDON, Jon Golding in London

15LK1701FBDBR, David Bratt